Here’s the reality—military life, parenting, and keeping yourself remotely functional is a lot to juggle, especially when you’re running on caffeine and crumbs. If you’ve been following Deployments, Tantrums, & Cold Coffee, you already know this series is about surviving the chaos with humor, heart, and maybe a half-folded pile of laundry. Today, we’re talking about something that often gets shoved to the bottom of the to-do list (right under “rotate the laundry… again”). When you’re solo parenting, overworked, overtired, and overstimulated, taking care of yourself can feel laughable, but spoiler alert: your health isn’t optional. It’s essential, and it doesn’t have to be big to be meaningful.

Here’s the thing—when you’re mentally and physically running on fumes, your kids feel it. That’s not meant to add guilt—it’s meant to remind you that you matter just as much as the people you’re caring for. Taking care of yourself is not indulgent. It’s proactive. Move your body in ways that feel good (even if it’s dancing in your living room or doing squats while brushing your teeth). Book that counseling session. Eat something with actual nutrients and not just whatever was left behind on your toddler’s plate. Resources like Military OneSource offer free mental health support, and many bases have wellness programs specifically for spouses. You’re not being selfish—you’re being strategic.

Still, we get it. Taking care of yourself in this season can feel like a joke. Between work deadlines, toddler tantrums, night wakings, and that cursed laundry (which may or may not still be sitting in the washer), it’s easy to land at the bottom of your own priority list. Here’s the good news: even the smallest efforts add up. A ten-minute stretch before bed. Drinking water before your second coffee. Calling a friend and saying, “I’m not okay,” instead of pretending you are. These aren’t extravagant—they’re powerful acts of self-preservation.

Speaking of things we avoid—go to the dang doctor. I know, I know. It’s hard to schedule, there’s no childcare, and honestly, you might just feel too exhausted to even try, but your wellness matters. If your body is aching or your mind is screaming, don’t ignore it. If you’re dealing with postpartum depression, anxiety, burnout, or that constant low hum of “this is just too much,” please know there are resources out there—and people who will listen without judgment.

Here’s what I’ve learned: self-care doesn’t always look like bath bombs and candles. Sometimes, it looks like saying no to an event you just can’t handle. Sometimes, it’s putting your phone down and walking outside for five minutes of real air. Sometimes it’s setting a boundary, even when your people-pleasing reflex fights you on it. Sometimes, it’s crying in the shower, taking a breath, and choosing to get up again anyway.

You don’t have to fix everything today. You don’t have to overhaul your life or find balance or become a glowing wellness goddess by next Tuesday. You just have to give yourself a little bit of care—enough to keep going. Remember: your child doesn’t need the flawless version of you. They need the real one. The present, well-loved, and well-cared-for version. That kind of presence starts with how you love yourself.

Taking care of yourself isn’t a luxury—it’s damage control in a season that demands everything from you. You don’t need a spa day to start feeling better (though if someone offers, say yes). You just need to remember that you matter too. Your energy, your body, your mental load—it’s all worth tending to. So stretch, breathe, vent, rest, say no, ask for help, and for the love of sanity—go to the doctor. The goal isn’t to be flawless; it’s to be functioning and cared for. Your kids don’t need a Pinterest parent. They need a present one. That starts with loving yourself enough to take the first small step—even if that step is speed-walking to the mailbox and calling it cardio, and when you’re ready to wrap it all up, don’t miss the final article in the Deployments, Tantrums, & Cold Coffee series — a look back at the lessons, laughs, and survival strategies we’ve shared along the way.

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