Gratitude can look different when your life is split between military service and motherhood. Sometimes it looks like standing in formation before sunrise, knowing your children are still asleep at home. Sometimes it looks like coming back from drill and being greeted at the door by little arms that do not care what rank is on your chest. Other times, it looks like realizing that the hardest parts of balancing both roles have also become some of the most meaningful.
As a mother and a Soldier in the National Guard, I have learned that gratitude is not always found in the easy moments. More often, it shows up in the middle of the complicated ones.
There are weekends when military obligations overlap with birthday parties, school activities, and family plans. There are early mornings, packed bags, missed routines, and calendars that seem to require their own operations order. There are also moments when the guilt of leaving home competes with the pride of putting on the uniform.
Balancing service and motherhood has never been about doing everything perfectly. It has been about learning to appreciate the people, lessons, and opportunities that make both parts of my life possible.
I am grateful for the support systems that step in when duty calls. Military service may be individual, but it is never carried alone. Family members, friends, fellow Soldiers, leaders, teachers, and childcare providers often become part of the larger team that keeps a military family moving. Their support may happen quietly, but it makes an enormous difference.
I am also grateful for what service has taught my children. They are still young, but they are learning that commitment sometimes requires sacrifice. They see that serving others matters, that responsibilities do not disappear when life becomes inconvenient, and that being part of something bigger than yourself can be both challenging and worthwhile.
At the same time, motherhood has changed the way I serve. Being a mom has made me more patient, more aware of what others may be carrying, and more intentional about how I lead. It has reminded me that every Soldier is also someone’s child, parent, spouse, sibling, or friend. Behind every uniform is a person with a life and a family that matter just as much as the mission.
That perspective has shaped the kind of leader I want to be. I want to be someone who understands that readiness and empathy can exist together. I want to lead with standards while still recognizing the human beings responsible for meeting them. I want younger Soldiers, especially women and mothers, to know that they do not have to erase one part of themselves to succeed in another.
There is a tendency to describe military mothers as if we are somehow balancing everything effortlessly. The truth is usually much less polished. Some weeks are organized. Others are held together by calendar alerts, drive-through dinners, and a great deal of grace.
Still, there is so much to be thankful for. I am grateful for the confidence military service has given me. I am grateful for the resilience motherhood has required of me. I am grateful that my children get to see me pursue meaningful work, accept responsibility, and continue growing even when the path is demanding.
Most of all, I am grateful that these two parts of my life do not have to compete. They challenge one another, strengthen one another, and continue to shape the woman I am becoming. Service has made me a stronger mother, and motherhood has made me a more compassionate Soldier.
Gratitude does not mean ignoring the hard days. It means recognizing that even with those days, there is still purpose, support, growth, and love. For me, that is what balancing service and motherhood has come to mean. Not perfection, but perspective. Not ease, but purpose. And not having it all figured out, but being deeply thankful for the life I have been trusted to lead.
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