Military life comes with its own unique set of challenges, and one of the toughest…helping your kids stay connected to a parent who’s often away—whether it’s due to deployment, long hours, night shifts, or endless training rotations. It can be especially tough when your child’s understanding of time is somewhere between “Is Dad gone forever?” and “Is Mom coming home before Paw Patrol?”

The good news? With a little creativity (and a lot of patience), you can help your kids feel close to their service member parent—even when they’re far apart or not always available.

Our son was just four months old when we arrived at Fort Jackson. My husband started Drill Sergeant School on the same day that we moved into our house! OY! So, being a full-time WFH mom and my husband being out 6-7 days a week for training, life got interesting! He would get up before the sun was up and wouldn’t get home until way after bedtime stores had concluded. Naturally, my son’s first word was “mama.” Then came a few others…but by 8 or 9 months, still no “dada.” I must’ve said it a million times a day, read all the “dada” books, but nothing. So, while my husband does everything for his family and adores our son, not hearing “dada” was genuinely heartbreaking for him.

I came across an article about creating intentional connection time for the less-present parent. So, even though we wanted family dinners when my husband was home, I realized those 20 minutes could be their one-on-one time. Dinner became their thing. Having our son rely on his dad for food showed him that “Dada” can also meet his needs. Within a week of this shift, he finally said “Dada.”

We faced something similar when our son was 14 months old and only wanted me to put him to bed. So, we created a new bedtime rhythm…we did the wind-down routine together, but once it was time to lay down, Dad took over for story time and snuggles on nights he was home. Of course, I missed those baby nighttime cuddles—but giving them that consistent space made all the difference. It became their ritual, and it helped them both bond in a way that felt real, safe, and theirs alone.

In the next installment of the Bridging the Gap series, we are going to explore practical tips and tricks for Toddlers & Preschoolers, focusing on how to build connection through consistent routines and engaging sensory play!

Explore More with My Military Lifestyle and Family!